K.

There is a famous quote from a movie about life. Well in all fairness there are ALOT of famous quotes from movies about life. The one I’m referring to is from Forrest Gump. Now I’ve never seen the movie in its entirety. It’s WAYYY to long, but I do know the quote.

“Life is like a box of chocolates; never know what your gonna get.”

My version is a bit different.

“Life is more like a puzzle game, you can only play defense for so long before the game starts to win.”

Earlier this week I found a super fun puzzle game. Now I’m not a huge fan of puzzles, but I continue to play them so that I can hopefully beat my boyfriend at one of them. So far I can’t, but when talking about this game with him he said something interesting.

He said,”the minute you start playing this game defensively your gonna lose”

I took what he said to heart and I’ve been getting better at the game ever since. However, I also started to think about that in terms of life. The majority of people that grew up in the ghetto, poor, or in a bad situation have had to adapt to being prepared for any scenario. I’m not exempt from that, nor am I questioning that behavior.

I’m pondering when did I turn from being prepared and still attacking life to prepping for the worse and scarred shitless to leave my house. I can’t answer that question.

I used to be so full of life.

I used to go after I want.

I used to have such a positive outlook.

Lately it seems…

that I’m in a lull. That I’m playing life on the defensive.

Yea, I’ve done things that seem like my life is in contrast of that statement. In all honesty though; everything I’ve done lately are tasks I KNEW i would excel at. When I think of an “offensive approach on life” I think of myself attacking things that could lead to failure and having the confidence to fail.

I know last week i said I was going to push myself to fail more and I am. This is more like a backstory behind that decision.

Oh and along with the back story I’m also informing my followers/readers I’m gonna take a break (YES AGAIN) from social media and possibly blogging.

Just to do another reevaluation. It could be 1 week it could be 1 month, but I will be logging off after this. So TTYL. P.s. My email will stay open for any artists that would like to collab with me when I return. I’ve changed the perimeters of the project, SO ANY ARTISTS THAT WANT TO TELL THERE STORY AND BE FEATURED PLEASE EMAIL ME!

PLUR Regards,
Tyler Hurt
@_sunflowerkid_
#SunflowerItUp
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MIR #4

So this week I feature an amazing young artists who goes by the name of MIR. They are from ny original home town SIN CITY(Las Vegas, NV.) When faced with darkness in their life MIR has consistently found a light in art, even when the light was almost nothing. The style of art is very rough and urban, but also present and in the moment. Almost like watching someone tag a mural. Without further ado I will let the work speak for itself; here is…

The Beast

Tempation. False pleasures. The beast. Don’t wake the sleeping giant. We all have the beast inside that waits for your weakest moments. It’s deceiving, and wants one more chance. It says, it will be different this time. It cares. A brand new opportunity, but it lies. It won’t be different. Welcome back to misery. It loves your company.

Break Free

Break free from the beast. Run and don’t look back. The past cannot be changed. Stay in your gift….the present. Do what you love, don’t make eye contact with the beast. There is no love where you used to lie with the beast. Use your passion for greatness. Inspire others to fight the beast. Knock that fucker out, let it sleep, and don’t wake it up.

In the words of this artist,” Art Saves Lives. LIVE, LOVE, CREATE.”
If you would like to contact them for additional projects all information is below:
Email: mirpaintz@gmail.com
IG: mirpaintz

As always if you would like to be featured on my blog the contact information is under “Contact Me”.

PLUR Regards

Tyler Hurt

@_sunflowerkid_

#SunflowerItUp

No mistakes

Hello all my beautiful flower children,hope you missed me.

Let’s get a quick update on things going on in my life:

I’ve identified my insecurities in a relationship.

I’ve continued to pursue certain endeavors.

I’ve gained more recognition at work.

I’ve allowed myself the ability to fail.

I’ve acknowledged destructive behaviors.

But most importantly

I’ve understood that sometimes a break is good.

Over the last week or so I’ve taken a big step back from my blog, from my social media, from life in general. During this break I’ve made some big decisions(like always). I will ACTUALLY attempt to follow up with these decisions though, or at least for the next foreseeable future. 😂

Decision 1: stop making decisions based on number of likes

Decision 2: dive harder into my passions

Decision 3: change they way I use my blog(again)

Decision 4: stop apologizing for fucking up

Decision 5: start

FUCKING UP

I’m sure some people are wondering right now,” WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”

I’ll you.

So a couple weeks ago I changed the format of my blog into more of a video format, hoping that was going to lead to more of a influx of likes, shares, etc. The videos I posted I did it in one shot with NO editing and it felt good, but I started doing something else on the back end. I noticed myself planning ahead for my videos. I was writing out exactly what I wanted to say.

While the majority of my readers may say,” what’s wrong with a little planning?”

My response,”EVERYTHING

I wasn’t allowing myself to be authentic. Some of you may have even noticed this change of mentality, months ago, before the videos started. I asked a friend to edit my posts before I actually posted them. She was a GREAT help and she is an AMAZING wittier/speaker/mother/friend. She didn’t change the story, but she did help with grammar, spelling structure and sometimes would ask additional questions to get more content out of me. While I appreciate ALL of her help(if your reading this I thank you SOOO MUCH). I knew our time working together would be brief. Not because she didn’t want to help, but because in the back of my mind I didn’t truly want the help.

I need this blog to be 💯 me. All spelling mistakes, bad grammar, fuck ups and all. While I love writing I don’t want to turn into a writer. I write for myself, I write for my anxiety, I write because it’s the only way I know how to speak.

When a person makes “No Mistakes” they don’t learn.

When a person makes “No Mistakes” they don’t grow.

When I make “No Mistakes” I feel withered.

When I make “No Mistakes” I feel terrified.

Terrified of when I will make a mistake.

Terrified of what reaction I may receive.

Terrified of why it may be.

Terrified of who will be involved.

Terrified of where this may take place.

Terrifed of how my anxiety will take over.

So no longer will I make No Mistakes”. I’m gonna FUCK UP and your just gonna have to deal.

PLUR Regards,

Tyler Hurt

@_sunflowerkid_

#SunflowerItUp

Helen #3 (NSFW)

This week I feature an AMAZING painter by the name of Helen/Pnut.Paints. Her work speaks volumes of the struggle she has endured in order to get to where she is now at in life. I'll let the art speak for its self. Most of her work is very PG, the story that's about to be told is VERY X rated do not continue reading if your squeamish/under 18. Thank you.

Deville

A non blood related family member, hitherto known as She Who Shall Not Be Named, or Cruella, realized i had not filled out my paperwork correctly after marrying her son. She exploited this to prevent me moving away with my daughter after her son got violent with me. I was thrown into immigration detention while she absconded with my daughter. Thousands of dollars later she was still trying to get my little girl…

Torn
I was scarred by my experiences in prison for a while… I still am. My self worth was at a low, and not helped by the fact that the man who claimed to love me, wouldn't touch me. After finding out that he was meeting strangers for sex and had been for the last almost decade, I was feeling bad. Very bad. Yet I kept trying to make it work….

Sunshine

I reconnected with my very first boyfriend… for 30 years and over 5,000 miles we had stayed in touch. His kindness, willingness to listen, and unshakeable faith in me began to bring me out of my shell. I can draw him with my eyes closed, I know his face so well.

The nook

Thanks to aforementioned lack of hanky panky on my part, as we grew closer that part of my brain that had been dormant for so long slowly began to wake up. I began to imagine putting my head into that curve of his hip, "the nook" as I like to call it, while reading the Sunday papers.

WARNING THE NEXT PICTURE IS NSFW. Do NOT continue if you are under 18. Thank you.

The Brink

Poised on the brink of something awesome – just like that moment ( I know you know what I'm talking about) . i m ready for it. And all the colors that it brings.

Until you say stop

Yesterday is a ghost. Tomorrow? A dream. All that matters is that we are here. Now

I'm genuinely so excited to continue this trend of featuring new artists if you would like to get in contact with her the information is below. She does all kinds of paintings. Thank you for allowing me to share this with you.

Artists featured: Helen Hudson
Social media: http://instagram.com/pnutwhistle.art

As always my contact information is in the blog. If you want to be featured or know someone that wants to tell their story let me know. 🙂

PLUR Regards,
Tyler Hurt
_sunflowerkid_
#SunflowerItUp

Doodles

Okay so below are a few poems that I've written out of boredom. They aren't my best work, and I don't feel like they are even complete yet. Nonetheless, it's mine and I'm proud of it. This week has been an up and down battle between work, mental/emotional capacity, and my own anexity/depression. Give the poems a read and I'll return next week bright and shiny again.

Random #1

Fight or flight.
When I look in the mirror I get a sudden fright.
Your standing behind me.
Your all I see.
The man in the mirror.
It's no longer me.
It's the monster that's been set free.
I hate you.
I've hid you.
Go away.
I'm done being depressed.
But you won't go to rest.
You keep on giving me tests.
The shit you throw is stinky and gross.
I'm tired of shoveling it.
I'm tired of smelling it.
I'm tired of it.
You hold me close.
Like a blanket.
Like a burrito.

Random #2

Jump high.
You may fall.
You may fly.
I'd rather die
Then never try.
The journey continues.
The struggles get harder.
But may your opinions never falter.
Continue to push.
Continue to fight.
Because that option of flight is never out of sight.
It's only a 50/50 chance
So may the odds be forever in your favor.
You could however:
Give up.
Lay low.
Forever live in sorrow.
I can't wrap my mind around that.
Being complacent with what life hands you.
"It's only lemons"
"It's only shit"
It's only….

The only It's only out of your mouth should be…

"It's ONLY my life"
And I choose a life.

Random #3

It never fails…
I always end up with the ones that are broken.
If it's not one things it's another.
I want to fix them.
Want to rid them of there problems.
But they aren't my problems to fix.
But that doesn't stop me from trying.
I can't mend a broken heart.
Only attempt to grab the broken pieces.
As they fall to the ground.
Racking my brain trying to figure it all out.
Telling myself that I tried.
I pushed through all the doubts.
But in the end I just fall out.

I'm not done trying.
This is just the beginning.
There will be another guy.
Another broken heart.
Another chance for me to love.
Or at least another chance for them to use me.
My heart feels like a punching bag.
My mind is a sparring match.
It's a constant battle jumping from one to another.

PLUR Regards,

Tyler Hurt

_sunflowerkid_

#SunflowerItUp

Insert your opinion here

Ive been writing a LOT more poetry lately. My poem this week was inspired by late night thoughts. I was going thru Facebook one night when I couldn't sleep, and I continued to see a reoccurring theme. We tend to insert or own opinions about a persons situation, or their life based on what that person presents to social media. Instead we should be standing by them, and allowing them to simply express themselves without the fear of judgement or "insert your opinion here". So without further ado…

In the wee hours of the morning…

When I can't sleep

When I can't dream

When I'm too tired to move

When I'm too alert to care

I don't think

I don't speak

I do blank

I do insert something that you think I do here

Throughout our life we are told what to do

Throughout our childhood are interests are warped

Even if I tell you what I like you look at me as if I'm some kind of flight risk.

That can't be right.

You can't be that guy.

Your not into that.

You don't know anything about insert my interest here.

You should try insert your opinion here

Throughout life we are told what to wear

Throughout adulthood it is called a uniform and standard hair.

If I break the mold I'm at a risk of losing my career.

If I want to mix it up like all the girls I'm told that's not right.

You don't know anything about my insert expression here

You should try insert your opinion here

Throughout life we are told how to behave.

Throughout adolescents we are shaped into our believes about ourselves.

I can't possibly be whatever I want.

I have to follow the status quo

You don't know anything about insert my own viewpoints and opinions about my self here

You should try insert your opinion here

Insert your opinion here

Not that I asked for it.

Not that I needed it.

Not that I wanted it.

But go ahead insert your opinion here.

Insert your opinion about…

My life

My rules

My story

My journey

No go ahead. I'll wait until your done.