Fuck you. Fuck off. Fuck me. Just fuck.
Fuck yea. Fuck this. Fuck that. Just fuck.
Fuck her. Fuck him. Fuck them. Just fuck.
Negative or positive. It’s just a word. The phrase sticks and stones my brake my bones, but words will never hurt me. Who ever came up with that phrase obviously doesn’t understand the power behind words.
Words break us. Words mold us. Words define us. As a writer and a blogger words are my life. When I was in middle school I stopped showing up to school. I didn’t understand how to handle the words being thrown at me. Words like…
Faggot, twig, anoriex, feminine, hot(for a black guy), slut, whore, disgusting, too much to handle, robot, alcoholic, nasty, stupid…
Going into high school I decided I would change myself. I no longer wanted to be defined by such words. I created a “brand new person”. I only let the world see what I wanted them to see. People started to use words like…
Leader, inspirational, caretaker, strong, independent, beautiful, loud, fearless, amazing, thoughtful, caring, old-soul, loving, different, average, savege, thinker, resilient, real…
As an adult I’ve struggled with the different faces I show the world. For a brief time I was seeing a counselor to help me deal with my struggle. He constantly had to remind me everyone wears a different mask depending on the situation, but that wasn’t my issue. I didn’t simply put on a new mask. I had created several different personas. They all had different names, attitudes towards life, habits, jobs, even wordrobe:
Tyler Hurt: professional, clean cut, never does drugs, drinks occasionally(1-2 beers 3 days a week), has one partner(little did anyone know), has an understanding of life(but hates it), works in retail management, lives to work, straight, SOBER
Tiller: wild child, alcoholic, drug abuser, people abuser, lives in the moment, says yes to anything(and anyone), expects the world to be given to him, works as a drug dealer(trap house), loves life(but has zero understand how the world works), gay, ADDICTED.
Ty Ty: small child, does what he is told, doesn’t talk back, doesn’t question authority, cares for everyone(even though they may not care back), needs constant emotional support, just wants to sit and cry, works as a full time caretaker for his brothers, and mother, has zero understanding of the world(and hates life), questions sexuality, BROKEN.
Words play a significant role in everyone’s life.
There is a power in allowing words to describe you. In taking back the “negative” words and using it as a positive.
I’m learning to combine all of those personas to create the person I am today.
Tyler Robert Hurt: professional, wild child, decent understanding of the world(and learning to fall
In love with it), brother, uncle, son, lover, bisexual, busy bee, writer, blogger, sober(mostly), music festival enthusiast, aspiring model, accepts people, expects nothing in life, makes decisions(personal, and professional), reaches out to ask for help, clean(ish) person, healthy(mostly), RECOVERING.
This post started off as something else and just evolved. Just as I am. Just as you are. Continue to grow and evolve. Anything you want in life can be achieved. You allow which words define you, so pick the ones that best fit.
Tyler Robert Hurt