This week I’m taking a moment to reflect. So this is something I wrote a few months back. Remember kids experimenting is one thing, addiction is on another level. Stay happy, #SunflowerItUp and enjoy the read. 🙂
Ever been completely aware of your surroundings, but not able to do anything about it? Ever been so awake, yet sleep deprived?
Meth will make you understand those statements. When your awake longer then 24 hours everything becomes a blur. Meth keeps you awake for hours, even days on end. Some people get incredibly horny; others use it to be “productive members of society”.
Since meth keeps you awake you are able to do things at all hours of the day.
I stared my journey with meth at 19. I will never forget my first experience. I snorted a half a gram thinking I was immune to the harsh realities. My nose felt as if it was going to fall off. I was awake for 3 days. I had no concerns about life. I just craved sex and more meth.
From the first moment I tried it I was hooked. More than the drug itself; the people heavily involved with meth are mostly vile, disgusting people. Including myself.
I turned into a version of myself that I didn’t even know existed. I’ve traded my body just to get some more, sold it to pay for my habit, took advantage my friends and their concerns for another hit. I’ve convinced some of the closest people in my life that it was good for me; that it was good for them.
When the stress of life got to heavy, when deaths would occur, when I couldn’t afford to eat, when I just needed to escape from reality.
The problem came when I would escape for months at a time. When you escape for long stretches of time eventually you start to see shadow people.
That’s when the truly scary stuff sets in. Shadow people come in all shapes and sizes. The shadows turn into monsters, friends, aliens, demons, people you love, people you hate.
Never again will I make friends with the shadows.
It’s not easy being clean, but it’s worth it. If you need help please reach out. I’m nowhere near perfect, but all I can hope for is to do better each and every day.
Until next week,